The Evolution of Self-Care: From Acts of Comfort to Deeper Self-Love

When we think of self-care, images of spa days, bubble baths, and solo trips may come to mind. And while these practices can be nurturing, they only scratch the surface of what it means to truly care for ourselves. Self-care is important, but when we pair it with self-love, we deepen the way we show up for ourselves and transform the way we move through life.

The Deeper Work of Self-Care

At its core, self-care is about tending to ourselves—our minds, our bodies, and our spirits. But there’s a difference between surface-level care and the deeper practices of self-awareness and healing. It’s not just about escaping stress for a moment of peace; it’s about recognizing and addressing what’s causing the stress in the first place.

For me, that deeper work has looked like sitting with discomfort instead of avoiding it. I’ve noticed how certain triggers—like anxiety, depression, or procrastination—manifest in my actions. Sometimes it’s doom-scrolling on social media, other times it’s impulsive shopping. These are moments when I’ve learned to pause and ask myself: What am I avoiding? What do I need to address to heal?

Facing those feelings instead of masking them with distractions has been a radical act of self-love.

Self-Love: The Next Step in Self-Care

Self-care is important, but self-love takes it to another level. It’s the difference between doing what feels good in the moment and doing what truly honors your long-term well-being. Self-love isn’t just a sentiment—it’s an action. It’s the intentional practice of treating yourself with the same compassion, patience, and investment that you would show to someone you deeply love.

Think about the distinction: Caring about someone is kind, but loving them often requires more. Love demands commitment. Love inspires action. When we apply this to ourselves, it means going beyond the surface. It means recognizing what we need, creating systems that support our growth, and making choices that align with our values—even when it’s hard.

For example:

• Taking time to reflect on your triggers and addressing them head-on is self-love.

• Choosing to set boundaries that protect your peace is self-love.

• Celebrating small wins, even when no one else notices, is self-love.

Mixing Self-Care with Self-Love

Self-care and self-love work hand in hand. While self-care might look like a quiet evening reading your favorite book, self-love is the commitment to carve out that time for yourself despite the demands of your day. Self-care might be indulging in a luxurious spa treatment, but self-love is acknowledging why you deserve that rest and holding space for yourself without guilt.

The Radical Southern Belle is about more than tradition; it’s about evolving the way we show up for ourselves and our communities. And that starts with doing the deeper work of caring for—and loving—ourselves.

An Invitation

As we prepare for a new year, I invite you to reflect on your own practices of self-care and self-love. What triggers or habits do you want to face head-on? How can you show up for yourself in ways that go beyond comfort and truly demonstrate love? Write it down. Sit with it. Let’s commit to this work together.

Because when we love ourselves deeply, we show the world that we are worthy of care, dignity, and joy—and we begin to transform our lives from the inside out.

Let me know how you are showing your self love in the comments!